Triskele: In A Gadda Da Vida
by NyKole Todd
Summary: In the wake of Lilly's kidnapping, the Winchester brothers are juggling searching for her and the inevitable apocalypse. Can Dean, Sam and Castiel find her? This is the sequel in the Triskele series.
1. Routines

::Author's Notes::

Welcome back to the wild ride that is Lilly's life. If you are reading this story, please note that it is the second story in the Triskele series. The first story is Triskele: Little Wing. If you haven't read it, you should hit the back button and start there. That is where a lot of the good stuff has already happened. I want to thank everyone who has read the other story and taking the time to read this one. It means a lot to me and the reviews are always very encouraging. I hope everyone is having a wonderful end of the year and Holiday Season.

Now for all of the legal sha-bang. I don't own Supernatural. I don't own Dean, Sam, Cas or any of the other wonderful characters that appear on the Tv Show. Lilly is my own character that I have set in the reality. I got a few questions about when the story takes place. It is roughly around Season 5 (Little Wing was in Season 2-ish). The main difference is that I liked the Roadhouse. So in the world of Supernatural that I am writing it does not get attacked and destroyed. Now on with the show...

* * *

The movements on the bed caught Lilly's attention, but her eyes remained closed. The little jostling of the covers let in the cold air as the invader made their way up. A deep throaty grumble filled her ears, as the man behind her grunted his discomfort at the air. Lilly just nuzzled into his neck and waited. Lilly ice cold hands padded their way through the sheets. A small pudgy face with deep red curls peeked out from under the comforter. A small throaty giggle came as she dived back into the heat of their combined body.

"She is up early." Dean's voice murmured in her ear.

"She gets it from you." Lilly reminded her husband.

Dean moved his arm off her stomach and gripped the little girl's body. He pulled her up between the two of them and wrapped an arm around his daughter. Lilly could feel the motion and turned onto her side to face the child. The little girl smelled like sugar. The small crumbs on her tiny pink lips were a tale-tell sign of her crime. Lilly wiped her mouth and looked at the little girl. The little blue-green eyes opened wide.

"Which cookies did you get into?" Lilly asked poking the little girl's nose.

"Daddy's." The little girl giggled.

"What?" Dean's eyes opened and tickled the little girl. "Those were the cookies I hide from Mommy."

Lilly looked indignantly at Dean. There lives had changed when they learned of the pregnancy. Dean had insisted on a home and a steady life. After a few arguments she had agreed to Dean's need to continue to hunt, but only if they stayed closer to home. Crawling out of the bed, Lilly pulled on a robe. Heading into the kitchen, Lilly poured a couple bowls of cereal then moved to make coffee. Little feet followed by longer strides followed her out of the bedroom. The smell of liquid caffeine brought Lilly to life. Pouring two mugs, Lilly doctored them to taste then passed one off to her husband.

The man let her go then moved back into the bedroom to change. Lilly watched from the kitchen as the man stripped down and pulled on a new t-shirt. Lilly watched him tie his brown leather boots. The image of her husband struck her. Even three years after marriage she was still infatuated by the man who had once saved her life. Lilly could remember the motions of running for her life through the woods even if she couldn't feel the fear. Lilly could hear his husy voice call her honey as he tried to keep her awake. Lilly could hear the man call her stupid when she refused to go back to a normal life. And then his voice when he asked him to stay with him forever.

"You are a good man, Dean Winchester." Lilly kissed his cheek then his lips.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear.

This life was calmer. Her nights were spent with dinners, bedtime stories and a bed she never had to leave behind. These were the things she thought about in bed as she felt Dean's arms tighten around her waist. Lilly shifted her attention to the little girl finishing her cereal. Her little fingers picked put the marsh mellows and popped them in her mouth. The little girl smiled like she was getting away with something then moved to get out of her chair.

"Mary, if you don't finish all of your cereal I wont get one with marsh mellows again." Lilly reminded the little sugar thief.

The little girl stuck out her pink lower lips and pouted. Crossing her arms the little girl considered the small pressed shapes. Cutting her eyes up at her mother, Mary reluctantly pulled out a few pieces with her fingers and shoved them in her mouth. Lilly just stood there and watched. The little girl's face contorted as she chopped violently on the pieces showing every ounce of her displeasure. The little girl stared in to the slowly emptying bowl. Lilly just rolled her eyes as the little girl tried to out stubborn her mother. Lilly couldn't help but see the same irritated, indignant look her father got when he believed he was some how getting shorted. Lilly just saw all the ways the little girl reminded her of Dean. The little girls blue-green eyes followed Lilly never wavering as she tried to calculate the best escape route. The little red head slowly moved from one chair to the next when Lilly turned her head to find the source of the noise. Lilly reached into the fridge for the milk to doctor her next cup of coffee, then the girl was gone. Her curly hair trailed behind her as she toddled swiftly through the door into the living room. Lilly moved behind her picking up movies.

"I need to clean the kitchen, so Little Mermaid or Star Wars?" Lilly looked into the round blue-green eyes.

"Both." The little girl said after a moments deliberation.

Lilly set the girl on the folded quilt on the floor next to her toys. The young girl just picked up her favorite teddy bear and played with the fur as she waited. Lilly set the kids cartoon in the DvD player then pressed play. In moments the opening credits of a dead man's signature sprung into action. Lilly could relate to the story. The redheaded mermaid just wanted to be human. And, most of the time Lilly felt human. Her normal life of diapers and baby bottles had turned into hair bows and family dinners. Lilly looked around at the furniture she had moved from her apartment and smiled. The kitchen table was filled with dirty dishes from breakfast and Lilly flicked on the small radio tuned into her favorite station. The sounds of the great god of seventies rock filled the air. Lilly turned on the water allowing it to go from warm to scalding. Lilly bounced around the kitchen as she cleared the table. The light sounds of a little mermaid lamenting her life snuck through the guitar solos. The creaking of a door opening and closing slowly caught her attention. Lilly clicked off the radio and waited.

"Lilly, has Dean left already?" Sam's voice came from the living room.

"Yeah Sam. He left about an hour and a half ago. He is working on that mustang that came in the other day. He said it would only be a few hours today. You might as well stay for dinner." Lilly said loudly to the wall in front of her. The little girl in the living room squealed in delight.

Turning the music back up Lilly bobbed to the male voice talking to her about sex, music and violence. Pulling a large deep red cast iron pot out of the cabinet under the stove top. Turning and moving across the kitchen, Lilly stormed the refrigerator retrieving the whole chicken she had hidden in the back. Lilly looked at the poor liberated bird then stripped it out of plastic wrapping. Plopping it in the pot, Lilly proceeded to prep for dinner. It was one of the luxuries of a traditional life that Lilly had pledged never to take for granted again. Her kitchen had simple light brown cabinets with speckled granite counter tops. Lilly could remember Dean's confused face as she gushed over all of the pull out drawers hidden behind traditional cabinet doors. Each inch of the kitchen space was usable. Lilly smiled as she could still hear her husband.

"You like this kitchen? But it is so soccer-mom? Don't you want something with more …" He hadn't been able to come up with the adjective he was looking for.

"Dean you like food right? You want home cooked meals at a dinner table right?" Lilly moved closer to Dean batting her eyes.

"Yeah, but it is tan and grey." The man whined. The image of her strong hunter and defender was almost shattered.

"Dean, I really love this kitchen. And, since I am going to have to teach you how to not burn water… I want a kitchen I want to be in." Lilly stepped back and absent mindedly rubbed her stomach. Dean's attention moved to her hand and Lilly noticed then stopped. Lilly blushed and tried not to feel like she had thrown down four aces. Lilly watched the resolve of a man choosing to provide for wife and child.

"We will take it." Dean said to the woman showing them the house.

Lilly poured the vegetable brother over the chicken and brought it to boil. Tonight like every night since Mary's birth would be another dinner. Pulling rice out of the cabinet, Lilly went over the ingredients in her head. In an hour dinner, would be done. Her husband would be walking through the door with grease on his t-shirt and worn jeans. Sam would still be entertaining her child, and Lilly would get to finish all of her housework. Turning the pot on low, Lilly turned and headed into the little girls bedroom.

The array of stuffed animals were tossed about the floor. The star covered comforter had been pulled onto the floor as a mat. Lilly just sighed at the disarray. Moving swiftly through the room on her long legs, Lilly tried to bring the room back from destruction. Eventually the sounds of a heavy door opening and closing herald the coming of Dean. A high pitched cry and a peel of laughter let her know that she had a few more minutes. The room recovered and Lilly suddenly considered coffee. A yawn escaped her.

Moving back into the kitchen Lilly pulled out the cooked carcass of the bird and began to strip the meat from the bones. Tossing the white meat into the pot of rice, Lilly finished up dinner. Reaching into an upper cabinet Lilly pulled down bowls. Dean moved through the kitchen quickly heading to the shower they shared. The man stripped out of his shirts and flexed for her, before he shut the door. Lilly considered peaking before she called the other two into the kitchen for food. Large feet carried in a giggling child and the image of Dean's naked body had to remain just in her head. Turning Lilly swapped a large bowl of her family's chicken bog for the toddler. The man accepted the bowl and moved to the clean table. Lilly set the girl in her high chair. The small redhead sat patiently waiting for her food. Dean moved out of the room and towards her. His arms wrapped around her middle as Lilly continued to prepare plates.

"You are too good for me." Dean said as he kissed her shoulder.

"So I keep hearing." Lilly spun and handed him a bowl.

Sitting down for the first time sense breakfast, Lilly looked around at the smiling faces of her family. The two men sitting across from her were two of the three most important men in her life. And, the little girl beside her enthusiastically shoveling rice into her mouth was officially the only girl who could capture her heart. Dean looked up and burst out laughing as Mary attempted to pull more food from the bowl and managed to turn it over on the tray. Lilly went to move and was waved off by laughing figure. He pulled the little girls chair closer and began to spoon the food into Mary's mouth. The little girl opened her mouth in between spoonfuls making little breathy hungry noises. Dean wiped the girls face revealing her pale skin under the mess.

"She is going to need a bath after dinner." Lilly mentioned.

"I got it." Dean picked up the little girl and tossed her in the air above his head. Mary erupted in a giggles.

"Just remember you are trying to wind her down… or, she is going to find her way to our room later tonight… for the fourth night in a row." Lilly tried to impress on Dean how much she wanted alone time.

"I understand. Narcoleptic baby coming up." Dean moved down the hall to the bathroom.


	2. Fear

Her brother-in-law rested back in the chair and looked between her and where his brother had been. Lilly just did the same and exhaled. The work of the day had taken it's toll. Lilly stretched her long legs under the table and let her legs just fall where they wanted. Stretching her arms over her head, Lilly imitated a cat. All of the muscles in her body tensed, pulled tight, then relaxed. Sam just watched her then looked down at his beer.

"So she got your energy and his opinions on when to sleep. I am sorry." Sam nodded to Lilly.

"I like to think of her as sleep efficient. It sounds better then non-sleeping sex-killing midget. It is also easier to say." Lilly got up to rinse out the dishes then load them into the dishwasher.

"That does sound like a mouth full. You might want to go for involuntary birth control." Sam offered up. Lilly turned and threw the damp wash cloth at him. Sam on instinct dodged the first one and was hit by the second one. Lilly just smiled and waited for them to be returned. Sam tossed them back and Lilly continued on the dishes.

"So how was your day?" Lilly stopped and bulled beers out of the fridge then handed one to him.

"Long. I forgot how much work school was before I left. I spent all afternoon with my nose buried in case files." Sam seemed exhausted.

"Not as much fun as looking up things that possess, eat, or shred flesh?" Lilly sipped on her own beer.

"Yeah, but at least I am still helping people." Sam seemed to miss his old life.

Lilly crossed the room and hugged Sam around the neck. The comfort was needed and Lilly could tell that Sam was holding onto his stress. Her brother-in-law patted her on the arm and leaned back into the hug. Pulling away Lilly sat back in her chair and nursed her bottle of beer. Dean walked through the room scrubbing and tumbling a little mass in an oversized towel then back into the little girls room. Lilly could hear Dean's voice as he sang one of his many preferred songs slowly trying to make rock sound more like a lullaby. The odd slow sounds of Def Leopard without a beat crept down the hall.

"Are you crashing here?" Lilly looked back at Sam.

"Do you mind? I feel weird staying at the dorm." Sam looked down at the bottle.

"The invitation to move into the spare is still there. I know Dean would love to have you here. I would too." Lilly pushed for the sane answer again. The conversation came up ever few weeks. Either Dean would mention the offer or complain to her about how his little brother seemed lost without the fight. Lilly would try her best to reassure him, and let him know that the offer would stay open. Lilly was worried herself that Sam was having problems finding his way. Sam had come over every other night but was slowly disappearing from their lives. Lilly tried to keep the ideas of Sam hunting along out of her head. And, it was a fear that she knew Dean was fighting too.

"This is your home. I don't know." Sam looked down the hall towards the back bedroom.

"Sam, is Dean your brother?" Lilly looked at Sam like her was being stupid.

"Lilly what are you…" Sam tried to stop the conversation.

"Is Mary your Niece?" Lilly continued without the answer.

"Lilly…" Sam tried to derail her train of thought.

"And, I am your sister. So stop being stubborn and move in. You miss being around him as much as he misses having you around. I knew you two were a package deal when I signed on. So trying to pretend you two aren't salt-n-pepper shakers is just pointless." Lilly just looked flatly at Sam. The man across the table from her just stared.

"At least promise me you will really consider it. You didn't the last time and I know it. You wrote it off because you thought you were doing us a favor." Lilly asked. Sam just accepted with a nod. Lilly hoped that she had broken through his wall of denial rather then push him farther away. Sam seemed to accept her request, but didn't accept the room. She just shock her head and took another sip of her beer. Sam joined her and for a second she could see the man he had been when they met. Sammy had been so energetic even if it had been as he rebelled against a life he hadn't wanted, but eventually embraced. Sam had always watched out for her when Dean had been too hard headed giving her small updates through Ellen. A sudden thought to take the time our to visit the Roadhouse flickered through her mind. Lilly nodded at the new item on her long-term to do list.

Lilly leaned forward to suggest the trip to Sam when a sudden movement out of the corner of her eyes caught her attention. Lilly looked out the window trying to find the source. A tall figure stood barely in the tree line watching in through the bay window. The figure hidden in the black shifted. Lilly tensed the muscles in her back and Sam noticed. Her brother-in-law moved slightly in his chair. Shifting his weight and reaching down towards his boot Sam pulled the knife he kept there. Lilly locked eyes with Sam and tried to push down the fear.

"Laugh then relax. Get up. Get two beers and tell me what it is while you are in the fridge." Sam said smiling and laughing. Lilly rolled her eyes then batted at him. Following his instructions Lilly got up and forced her gate to be relaxed. Opening the fridge Lilly leaned over and stuck her head in the fridge. As she reached around rearranging the items there she looked around. Lilly reached into the hidden compartment behind the deli meats pulling out the knife she kept there.

"Lilly?" Dean came out of the back then noticed the knife in Sam's hand.

"There is a figure in the wood in the back. It is watching the house. I saw it move." Lilly said into the fridge. Dean walked over near the coffee pot and moved a mug. He slowly pulled down a canister and opened it revealing one of his guns.

"Sammy and I will go check it out. You need to go back there and keep an eye on Mary." Dean said as he spilled the gun out.

"Please be safe." Lilly said slipping the iron knife up her sleeve. Lilly turned around and kissed Dean slipping a second knife into his belt under the button down shirt.

"You are so sexy." Dean kissed her again.

Moving down the hall Lilly could hear Sam and Dean go out the front door and lock it. Lilly knew the line of salt under the mat sat protected. The devil's trap hidden by the rugs at all entrances would keep their little girl safe. Lilly quietly opened Mary's bedroom door and slipped inside. Moving through the room, Lilly slipped into the rocking chair in the corner. The iron crowbar rested in her lap and the gun rested next to her. Lilly sat protectively watching every shadow as her child slept. The little girl rested snuggled under the blanket of stars. Her red hair draped over the pillow under her head and she koala-ed the blanket in front of her. Lilly watched the window.

A figure moved quickly through the woods and Lilly could see the figure of her brother-in-law move after it. A second figured chased him down and her husband collided with it. Lilly held her breath as only one figure got up. Her husband seemed to look around for the vanished figure. Sam pulled back to his brother. The two men moved back and out of sight. Lilly took a breath and waited for the sounds of her returned heros. Lilly felt the stress build up in her chest. Lilly just sat frozen in the chair waiting.

The foot steps never came.

Getting up Lilly moved her weapons next to the open side of Mary's bed. Moving the little pillow, Lilly crawled onto the bed with her child. The rod iron rested on the mattress next to her leg. The gun sat on a stuffed animal just in reach. The little girl snuggled up to her side seeking heat. Lilly just wrapped an arm around her figure protectively. Lilly continued to watch the window now unable to see the tree line. Lilly just played lightly with the soft curls of the little girl.

The foot steps never came.

The little girl let out a light snore. The soft coo distracted her for a second. Lilly pulled the little girl closer. Lilly closed her eyes and tried to sense Dean. It was a skill she had let go of with her calm life with Dean. Lilly tried to look out for the light of Dean's soul. The flicker of light glimmered for a second then faded. Lilly concentrated harder trying to force all of her energy into the ability. His light burst into life. Lilly tried her hardest see the area around him. The trees rushed past him and Lilly could feel the figure chasing him away from the house. Lilly watched the man turn on his heel and sink a blade into the mass. The villain folded. Her husband had the upper hand. Quickly he moved back to the house. Lilly allowed the image of him fade away as she brought her attention back to her location. The little girl moved around then looked up with at her with one eyes.

"Mommy?" The little girl half whispered.

"Go back to bed sweetie. I just wanted to cuddle." Lilly curled around the little girl.

"Mommy, I need to go bathroom." Mary patted her mother's face.

"Alright honey." Lilly hid the gun as she slipped out of the bed trying to keep Mary from seeing it. The little girl got up and moved towards the hall bathroom in her little nightgown.

Lilly followed her down the hall trying to stay closed without frightening the child. The little girl moved in a sleepy haze and didn't notice. Her unsteady legs allowed her to wobble towards one wall then back at another. Lilly let the little girl close the door as she waited outside. Lilly continued to wait for her husband to return. Staring at the clock in the kitchen she could only see all of the time that had passed. Breathing in and out, she tried to keep her fears at bay. The little girl opened the door and began to head towards her bedroom. The sounds of a door opening and closing finally came. Lilly breathed a sigh of relief. The little girl spun around and toddled back down the hall. Lilly just accepted the relief and let it wash over her.

"Daddy." The little girl whimpered and headed into the kitchen area.

Lilly turned the corner looking at Dean trying to let the adrenaline of her body go. The image of the man in front of her startled her. The little girl toddled closer to the man. Her breath caught in her throat. The man in the doorway was almost a perfect copy. The jacket was not the dark brown she had managed to work back into the leather. The black t-shirt he had put on was now blue with a knife wound. The figure stood there with his hand on the entry way hunched over slightly. The grey button down shirt was now a plaid. Lilly looked down at Mary who was within arms reach of whatever was imitating her husband. Lilly's body shot into action. Bolting forward Lilly scooped up the child, spun, then slid her down the hall on her ass.

"Mary, that is not Daddy! Hide." Lilly screamed and pulled the girl away. The little girl blinked and ran on her little legs towards the panic room Bobby had designed for her.


	3. Wounds

The figure stood gapped mouthed at the sudden burst of motion then moved. Lilly swept at the legs of the monster imitating her husband, but missed. The fake Dean tried to grab her wrist, but Lilly spun under his arm breaking free and throwing him off balance. Taking advantage of the sudden advantage, Lilly tried to draw the figure out of the kitchen and back into the living room. The added distance between her child and the monster was at the top of her list along with decapitating the figure in front of her. Lilly felt the figure move behind her. Stopping swiftly and bending down, the false Dean slammed into her then over her. Lilly hit the floor her knees slamming against the hardwood floors. The figure grumbled then turned to look at her.

"You always were a pain in my ass." The false Dean cussed.

Lilly shot forward at the figure her focusing on his hands. Lilly punched at the monster connecting with the soft flesh of an exposed belly. The impostor grunted loudly at the impact. The figure tried to tangle her again. Lilly barely kept her wrist out of his way. Lilly struck at the already bruised nose and made contact. The figure screamed and a string of cuss words erupted in a chain that made little sense. The creature cupped his nose and spun to dodge the next attack.

"I don't know how you got in here, but if you even think of going near her I will kill you." Lilly hissed at the figure. The fake Dean looked confused then tried to grapple her. His arms shot out. His hands gripped hers then slid up to her wrists. Lilly's eyes widened as the monster gained the advantage.

"I am not here for her. Woman hold still. Or, am I going to have to knock you out." Dean growled at her. A second figure entered through the front door. Lilly spun and saw Sam. Her heart leapt at the sudden shift in numbers. Sam moved into the fight seeing the panic on her face.

"It isn't him!" Lilly tried to inform Sam, before he believed it was a case of domestic disturbance.

The figure moved between her and the wounded monster then turned on her. Lilly drew back examining the figure of her brother-in-law. She couldn't remember the color of the shirt he had been wearing. Why hadn't she paid more attention? How could she have taken such a simple thing for granted? Now she was stuck defending from one man who might be her brother-in-law who was defending a man who wasn't her husband. Sam moved quickly trying to get behind her. Lilly tried to keep the two figures focused on her and on one side.

"Lilly what are you doing?" Sam asked trying to plead with her.

"Sam that isn't Dean. I saw Dean stab it." Lilly spat at the creature behind him.

"Lilly will you stop. It stabbed me." Dean showed off the wound.

"Where is he? What did you do with him?" Lilly tried to launch at the figure again as it imitated her husband.

Sam gripped her arms from behind as the fake Dean tried to grab her legs. Lilly kicked at the knee of the figure holding her. Her leg made solid contact with the stab and the figure let out an involuntary scream. Lilly began to cry at the sound of her husband's voice in pain. The throaty cry escaped her as she tried to free her legs. Her foot caught his leg and the two of them sank to the floor. Bucking wildly Lilly tried to force the figures to let her go. Her head snapped back slamming against the figure behind her. Sam voice strung words together creatively. Lilly screamed at the blinding pain as well as her frustration. The woman ran through the thoughts of scenarios as she struggled. Each possible future ended in death.

"Lilly stop you are going to hurt yourself or us." Dean gripped her legs tighter.

"Sam why wont you believe me?" Lilly sobbed the muscles in her body beginning to shake.

The two men held her down. The arm lock Sam had her in locked her back into place against his legs. Lilly tried to twist out of it and failed. The Dean holding her legs just tried to keep her from hurting someone. The figure snaked around her and held her hips down. Lilly strung a section of cuss words together. Lilly tried to calm herself enough to let go of the world around her. Lilly concentrated on the little girls room trying to will her body there. The world slowly lost the hard lines, but her anger kept her too pinned to the fight she was in.

"Dean she is gating!" The Sam behind her said alarmed.

The man in front of her looked terrified. Pulling out a small jar out of the pocket of his leather jacket Dean popped the cork. The smell of oil, herbs, and baby diapers filled the room. Lilly tried to pull her nose away from the foul smell. Dean pilled the dark liquid on his hand and then planted his hand on her chest over her heart. The world slammed back into hard, harsh lines. The figure in front of her let the fear out of his face. Only the pain and confusion remained. Lilly tried to put the details together. The figures holding her didn't seem to want her. They seemed to want to take her hostage. They didn't want her child, just her. Dean and Sam hadn't come back from the fight. Lilly couldn't stop her mind from flashing through all the possible images of their bodies mangled then discarded. The tears began to rush harder. Her anger grew heavy in her stomach burning with cold white fire. Lilly felt the anger drive her forward. The Dean at her feet tried to hold onto her as her body jerked again.

"Dean, why isn't she snapping out of it?" Sam didn't answer her question.

"I don't know. Cas said our presence would do it." The fake Dean talked to Sam. Lilly screamed again hoping that her husband would come.

The Sam behind her wrapped his hand over her mouth trying to silence the screaming. Lilly felt the tears slide down her cheek and onto his hand. His hand. Lilly inhaled then bit down on the hand restricting her. Lilly sunk her teeth into the soft flesh. The foul taste of demonic blood made her gag. The angelic blood in her body reject the demonic blood in her mouth. Lilly wretched slightly trying to spit out the offending liquid. Lilly felt her muscles begin to shake under her skin. Lilly just prayed for more strength, but the boost never came. Lilly prayed for her Dean to be safe. Lilly prayed for her child to remain behind locked iron walls. Lilly prayed that Cas would find the little girl and explain if something happened to her. Lilly prayed that as an adult Mary would forgive her for not being strong enough. The two demons held her in place looking at her with the faces of family. The fake Dean locked his legs around her with tears in his eyes.

"Lilly I need you to snap out of this." This Dean tried to get through to her.

Lilly stopped. The reality of the human tears were without question. The clear liquid welled up and slid down his face as he tried to lock her in place again. The man in front of her was human. Lilly searched this Dean's face for any answer she could find. This man who had been stabbed held her. Lilly had seen her husband turn and stab the figure chasing him. The figure had crumpled. Then she had let go of the image pulling back to her child. Now the stabbed figure was at her feet with silent tears and fear running down his face.

"Lilly you said you could always find me. I need you to try to find me." Dean said to her.

Her body relaxed and the figure behind her seemed to ease it's grip. The strong hand holding her wrists in arm locks didn't relax, but the tension in her muscles did. Lilly tried to understand why the figure in front of her would want her to find Dean. If they were trying to use her as a guide to find him it wouldn't work. But, if this figure she was fighting was Dean it would light him up like a beacon. Lilly just watched his face as he pleaded with her. Lilly didn't close her eyes. She concentrated on the truth that many could not see. The soft faint outlines of a sword came into being on Dean's back as he struggled to maintain his hold on Lilly. The man looked up at her his hazel eyes shown brighter. The true face of Dean looked up at her.

"Your favorite song is Little Wing, not Hendrix but Concrete Blonde. You like Mama, I'm Coming Home even though there are far better Ozzy songs. And, I was your first." The fake Dean was becoming real. Lilly could tell the confusion showed on her face. This Dean just nodded to the one behind her.

Lilly's eyes widened and she tugged at her arms trying to throw her arms around Dean. The struggle was perceived as a threat and the arms behind her tightened. Lilly let her eyes drift down his figure to the wound she had attacked. The bleeding spot on his side seemed to light up. The dark red frayed stain around it must have been the pain he was in. Lilly locked her legs and refused to move. The dark red seemed to fade a little and Lilly refused to do more damage. Dean seemed to understand and let go of her legs. At the movement, Sam removed the hand around her mouth and pulled around front. Sam looked at his hand examining the damage. Lilly just half heartedly smiled at the younger brother. Looking around she found her discarded kitchen rag and offered it to him. Lilly tried to understand the image she was seeing. The two men in front of her were not the men she had spent talking to over dinner, but the wounded man in front of her was the real Dean. The man in front of her seemed worn from stress and worry.

Dean sat on the floor leaning back on the front of the sofa. Leaning his head back he tried to control the pain. Lilly stood up quickly and the two men moved to grab her again. Holding out her hands she tried to ease them. Lilly moved into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of rags, a bowl of ice and the first aid kit. Moving back into the kitchen Lilly helped Dean ease out of his jacket then his shirts. The mans body was different from the one she was used to. Thin white scar lines cut across his shoulder. Lilly frowned at the unfamiliarity of it. Picking up a damp wash cloth Lilly moved his arm up onto her shoulder and tended the wound. Wiping up the blood Lilly tried not to disturb the flesh anymore then necessary. Dean watched her intently. Lilly tried not to look into his eyes again. The dark red discoloration faded away as she patted the wound with theice water.

"I don't understand." Lilly whispered once words returned to her. Dean pulled her in tight. He wrapped his bare arms around her, Lilly could hear him controlling his breath. The soft rhythm of controlled in-haling and ex-haling was one she had heard before. The fear of loss had gotten to him. The struggle of the skirmish had raised his heart rate and now he was trying to regain control.

"I found you." Dean whispered.

"I didn't know I was lost." Lilly pulled away from him.

"I never gave up." Dean kissed her. The fierceness of his lips on her impressed upon her his fears, need, and desire.

"How long have I been missing?" Lilly asked Dean needing answers.

"Four years, Gabriel took you at the wedding." Dean pulled her close again.

"But, I remember… He crashed the wedding and Cas got the drop on him. We gated out and hid. Then we went back to hunting." Lilly tried to weed through her memories to know which ones were real.

"Lilly he crashed the wedding. Gabriel tossed Cas like a rag doll. He knocked Ellen and Bobby out. He kept us off balance. Then he picked you up and disappeared." Dean held her.


	4. Family

"I don't understand." Lilly whispered once words returned to her. Dean pulled her in tight. He wrapped his bare arms around her, Lilly could hear him controlling his breath. The soft rhythm of controlled in-haling and ex-haling was one she had heard before. The fear of loss had gotten to him. The struggle of the skirmish had raised his heart rate and now he was trying to regain control.

"I found you." Dean whispered.

"I didn't know I was lost." Lilly pulled away from him.

"I never gave up." Dean kissed her. The fierceness of his lips on her impressed upon her his fears, need, and desire.

"How long have I been missing?" Lilly asked Dean needing answers.

"Four years, Gabriel took you at the wedding." Dean pulled her close again.

"But, I remember… He crashed the wedding and Cas got the drop on him. We gated out and hid. Then we went back to hunting." Lilly tried to weed through her memories to know which ones were real.

"Lilly he crashed the wedding. Gabriel tossed Cas like a rag doll. He knocked Ellen and Bobby out. He kept us off balance. Then he picked you up and disappeared." Dean held her.

Lilly felt her world crumbling around her. The lovely light tan walls seemed dingy. The soft brown leather couches seemed more worn the normal. Lilly looked around panicked trying to grasp at anything stable. She felt her chest tighten. Lilly tried to inhale and failed. Dean grabbed her face and locked eyes with her. The sudden solid presence helped. Lilly inhaled and exhaled slowly. She grasped his arms and tried to keep the world from spinning. The rush of memories flooded through her. The late nights bandaging wounds. The long morning showers where he picked at her until she was awake. Midnight feedings and afternoon naps where Lilly tried her best to keep up with a two year she adored.

"You wanted a house when you found out I was pregnant. You got a job at the repair shop. You just got a promotion. You go hunting when Bobby calls you with a job. You promised to stay in this area of the country. You take Mary to the park and give her french fries when you think I am not looking. Oh god Mary." Lilly started to cry, but tried to choke it back.

"Lilly she isn't real." Dean held her in place his face wracked with pain.

"Dean she has to be." Lilly refused to hear what he said.

"How old is she?" Sam asked.

"She just turned three in August." Lilly looked confused.

"It will be four years next month. The math adds up right. She might be real." Sam half shrugged.

"How?" Dean looked confused.

"Well when a Daddy loves a Mommy… I mean come on Dean. You two weren't exactly chaste." Sam retorted.

"Mommy don't cry." A little voice asked from around the corner.

Dean's body became rigid. Lilly could feel the panic in his muscles. Lilly just reached out her arms to the little girl. The little red head moved across the room slowly staring at Dean and Sam. She lunged at Lilly as quickly as she could. Lilly felt the solid impact of the child against her body. Lilly closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of sugar on the little girl. Dean's body pulled away from her as if moving away from fire.

"Mommy why are you sad?" Mary asked quietly. Lilly stifled a sob.

"Mary, do you remember how I told you about Uncle Cas?" Lilly asked the little girl.

"Cassie is an angel." The little girl said with wonder.

"Yes. He is a good angel, but not all angels are good like Uncle Cas. Mommy has an uncle that likes to play make believe. Sometimes he doesn't tell people that he is playing make believe with them. And he can make a person see what he wants them to see. My Uncle Gabriel has been playing make believe with us. So Daddy and Uncle Sammy don't remember things like we do. We have to be really nice to them, because we don't want to make them sad. We have to not play make believe anymore." Lilly told her daughter.

"Lilly I think you're the only person who can get us back out of this." Sam broke into the conversation.

"I don't understand." Lilly looked up into his green eyes over the little girls curly hair.

"Lilly this world has been created around you. It took Cas everything he had and a few high powered rituals to bust in. He can't pull us out. We're on our own." Sam tried to explain the process to Lilly her head still warring between the life she was living and the truth. Lilly focused on the warmth of the child in her lap. Her attention shifted slightly to Dean without looking up to see his response. The man watched her and the child. The conflict and confusion warring for dominance on his face. Mary seemed to be focused on Dean too. Mary slowly wiggled out of Lilly's arms and disappeared into the garage. The soft sounds of tools falling on tools made Lilly jerk her head around. Mary tumbled back into the doorway with her shirt pulled up carrying her spoils of war. The little girl moved on her unsteady little legs towards the man she had always called father then jutted open her pouch displaying her gift. The stock pile of bite sized chocolates, caramel chews and fruit flavored candies surprised Lilly. The man seemed equally as shocked.

"Mary where did you get that?" Lilly asked after a moment.

"With Daddy's cookies." Mary didn't look at her while she answered. She just continued to hold out the offering to Dean.

"Why did you get them?" Dean asked caustiously.

"Make Daddy happy." Mary looked up at him the concern on her face.

The simple sentence struck Dean harder then any physical punch he had ever taken. Lilly watched him as he seemed to examine the horde and pull out a piece of candy. Popping it in his mouth he watched as the child just waited patiently. Dean glanced at Lilly and motioned a hug where the child could not see it. Dean seemed to understand and hugged the child quickly. Mary seemed to notice the shift in his behavior and studied him. Turning to Lilly, Mary walked over and plopped back down in her mothers lap with the candy.

"Daddy stupid." Mary pouted.

"Mary, don't call your Dad names." The little girl continued to show her annoyance. "You need to be nice to your Daddy. He is having a hard time." Lilly tried to comfort the little girl.

"Lilly, when was the last time you gated?" Dean asked pointedly.

"Since…" Lilly had to think about it. After she had found out about the pregnancy Lilly had refused to travel using her powers. Then with Mary being an infant there hadn't been much point to traveling at all. Dean had stayed home and taken a break from hunting so there hadn't been a need to pop in to save or retrieve anyone. And now with Mary being older Dean had just started hunting again. He had taken on a few smaller cases to ease her back into the idea of the danger. But, she still hadn't left Mary's side.

"Since the wedding." Lilly could come up with an answer.

"Do you still hear the angels?" Dean asked another question.

"Sometimes, but they don't make sense. They seem angry or happy, but never at the same time. They seem jumbled in my head." Lilly hadn't been able to make sense of the angels in a long time.

"When was the last time you saw Cas?" Sam asked the next question.

"Two months ago. He popped in talked to Dean and popped back out. Dean said…" Lilly paused and corrected herself. "I was told Cas was still looking for God."

"Did you see him or talk to him?" Dean asked pointedly.

"I don't remember. I think I saw him, but… I don't know." Lilly tried to remember if she had seen him, his coat, or just the movement of brown in the side of her vision.

"Look if it is that easy then I will just gate all of us to Bobby's." Lilly looked at the men who came to save her from a life she didn't know she needed saving from.

The little girl in her lap wiggled out and stood up then headed at her uncle. The little redhead smiled and stuck one arm up and out. Sam seemed to understand the make shift sign language and picked the toddler up pulling her on to his leg. Sam examined the little girl's features. Mary put her hand flat on his chest over his heart. The action caught Dean's attention. Mary closed her eyes and listened then looked back at her Mom.

"Mommy, Uncle Sammy feels funny." Mary looked at her. The little girls angelic heritage seemed to sense the blood in Sam.

"I can sense it too. But, Uncle Sammy loves you a lot." Lilly tried to explain to Mary. The background static of the push and pull of blood fighting blood was in the background of the world around her. When was the last time she had felt the tension. How had she never noticed that Mary should have felt it too? Dean looked between his wife and his brother.

"Sense what?" Dean asked realizing that he was the only one who didn't have a clue.

"You know the whole angel on demon violence?" Lilly asked Dean.

"Yeah." Dean turned and looked at Sam.

"Imagine this on a lesser and slightly more family dinner table level." Sam offered.

"So what you two can sense the friction?" Dean seemed to have a problem with the idea.

"Yeah." Lilly agreed with Sam. "Mary can probably feel it too. I don't know if she has any of the other abilities."

"So if you two are like Godzilla and Mothra, why aren't you two going rounds til first blood?" Dean asked. Lilly looked at Sam with his crocked smile and giggled a little. The two of them shared the moment then looked at Dean. Sam nodded that she could take the lead on the conversation. Lilly blushed lightly.

"I care for Sam because he is a good guy and he means a lot to you." Lilly smiled at Dean. "And, he told me that she likes me because of me. He also thinks I am good for you. I think is something about the way I give you hell."

Dean turned and looked at his brother. Sam just shrugged and returned to looking at the little girl on his lap. The little girl just kept poking at Sam's face. Then inspecting her uncles eyes. Sam just kept allowing the girl to invade his space. Lilly looked around at her home. The home she had shared with a Dean that didn't exist and the child she had with the real one. Lilly tried to accept the loss. Mary's head whipped around and focused on her mother. Lilly looked at the little girl.

"No." The little girl shook her fingers at her mother.

"What are you saying no to?" Lilly asked waiting to see the answer.

"Go home now. No more pretend." Mary continued to scold her mother.


	5. Hostage

Lilly stood up and held her arms out to Mary. The little girl got down and moved towards her mother. Lilly scooped her up and walked into the back. Lilly could hear Dean and Sam talking in the front room. Mary's room had never been the neatest room of the house. The stuffed animals were arranged on the floor in little councils or friends. Each small group sat around a small table. The only organized space in the room was her closet. Lilly set her down on the bed and grabbed the overnight bag in the top. Lilly pulled clothing out of the closet and began to shove it into the bag. Lilly then pulled out a well loved t-shirt and jeans. The little girl stood up on the bed and lifted her arms over her head. Lilly stripped away the pajamas the little girl had been wearing and replaced them. Then Lilly turned and reached for the small black leather jacket. Setting her on the floor Lilly held her hand out and waited for Mary. The two of them moved back into the living room and waited on the boys. Dean's eyes took in the image of the little girl with rock and roll dreams. Lilly just waited. Dean moved off of the couch and bent down looking the little girl in the face. Extending one arm, Dean scooped her up and held her. Mary wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him. The man looked at the little girl more closely.

"Nice shirt." Dean said to the little girl.

"Duh." Mary looked at him like he was being stupid again. Dean looked at Lilly unable to believe he was taking lips from a three year old. Lilly just shook her head.

"It is all your fault. She gets that from you." Lilly looked at Dean.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked unsure or just not accepting the accusation.

"She has your wonderful ability to state the obvious and is shy about sharing her opinion of people." Lilly looked at him and dared him to deny the fact. The man looked at her

"Honey do you remember how I told you that sometimes Mommy can do good magic?" Lilly receached a hand out and touched Mary's cheek. The little girl shook her head furiously up and down. "Mommy has to do some magic now. I am going to take us to see…" Lilly turned and looked at Dean for a name.

"Bobby. I know where he is." Dean looked around paranoid that something would come crashing down on him.

"Well then. Let's get this circus show on the road." Lilly said and stepped between the two brothers. "Mary, I want you to close your eyes and hug on your Daddy. Don't open your eyes until I tell you to."

The little girl closed her eyes tightly and buried her face in Dean's leather jacket. Lilly just ran her fingers through the soft red curls. Dean Pulled her around front and into his jacket. The little girl accepted this and continued to burrow. Dean let his hand rest on the back of the little girl's head. Lilly reached up and put her hand on the back of his. She then reached out and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. Lilly closed her eyes and and fixed the image of Bobby in her mind. The man's brown thick beard and brown eyes. The sleeveless vest he wore over a t-shirt. The constant baseball cap that covered his balding head. Lilly concentrated on the home that now served as a head quarters. Lilly exhaled and tried to push the world away until she felt their bodies moving through the flow of life. The hard lines never retreated. Lilly opened her eyes and looked around. Dean looked at Lilly then at Sam. Sam just looked back at the two of them.

"What are you two chuckle heads doing here messing up my greatest act?" A voice came from the table in the kitchen.

"You!" Dean hissed and went to hand Mary to Lilly.

"Be nice or I will send you to bed without supper." Gabriel stood up. The traditional smoking jacket tied around the waist was just one piece of the costume. He put the straight wooden pipe in his mouth imitating Mr. Cleaver.

"Gabriel, what have you done?" Lilly asked trying to take the focus off of Dean.

"I built a dollhouse for you and it was perfect until Dee and Dum crashed the party." Gabriel said glowering at the two brothers.

"This is what you call a dollhouse?" Lilly looked at him serious in her conviction.

"What? Should I have added a picket fence? I thought that would be a bit much, but if you insist." Gabriel considered his surroundings then waved his hand.

Lilly looked around to see the changes and found none. Scrunching her eyebrows together, Lilly just looked at Dean and Sam. Shaking her finger at Gabriel she walked slowly to the front door not taking her eyes off of him. Looking outside Lilly just blinked at the sudden fence enclosing her home with lush rose bushes perfectly trimmed. Turning around she just scowled at her uncle. This was not the way she expected this to go and this wasn't really leading anywhere productive.

"That is not what I meant." Lilly turned to face him.

"Don't start the other conversation. You won't like what you learn." Gabriel's face was serious as he moved closer to her. "Consider the life you are giving up."

"This isn't life. I have been living with a figment of your imagination." Lilly narrowed her eyes.

"Oh but dear you haven't." A second Dean entered the room and leaned against the wall crossing his arms. Lilly watched the figure, but stepped closer to the man holding her child. "Meet Dean or rather who Dean would have been had he not lost his parents. Consider him Dean Uninterrupted."

The Dean against the wall nodded at Lilly then opened his arms to her. Lilly's eyes widened as she pulled back. The figure popped off the wall and walked slowly over to him. The Dean behind her went to step in the way then turned over the child to Sam. The growl let her know exactly how he felt about watching his clone stalk her. The Dean in front of her just watched him and moved closer to Lilly.

"I'm real. You have known me in every way. I have all of his memories. I have all of his experiences. But, I remember growing up in a home. I remember the things my father did with me. Those memories help me to know what to do with Mary. Do you remember when Mary was pitching fits everywhere? How I sat down with her and when she did I pitched one right back at her?" The Dean Gabriel created touched her face lightly.

"I do. It was the strangest thing I had ever seen, but it worked. But you aren't real. He created you, and I will never be able to not see you as a construct. And, if you are that much like Dean you know I can't stay here." Lilly touched his hand and pulled away.

"So has lover boy told you how he spent last summer?" Gabriel asked her. Lilly cocked an eyebrow at the angel in front of her.

"Stop trying to change the subject. I want out of your damn Norman Rockwell holo-deck and I am going to find a way to punch my way out if you don't just open the door." Lilly got angry. "Now get rid of the Ken doll replication of my husband."

Gabriel turned and looked at her angry. The house melted around them. The Dean in front of her melted like a wax figure under too much light. The horror of the sight sickened her. The lump of flesh colored goo on the floor made her pull back. Dean wrapped his arms around her and spun her away from the sight. The blackness hid any features of the world that might have been there. A single light seemed to shine directly down on their location. The effect made her feel more isolated then ever before.

"It was a gift. You were supposed to love it. I gave you everything you wanted. You don't know how bad it is out there. These two screwed it up for all of us. They are the end, and they lived up to it. Do you know what it is like knowing they are then end and not being able to knock them off the path? Now we get to watch the boxing match of the century. Michael versus Satan and you are married to it. No choice. The Dean you know is going to go away or the world is going to end. At least here you would always have him. But, no, you want to go right back into the disfunction. And, you want to take her into it." Gabriel pointed at Mary.

"No matter what you believe, I did this because you're family. There is a whole bunch of family baggage that dear brother Cas has kept you out of. Good for him, but the older brother's have caught your scent and that little girl is hidden here. She gets to be a normal kid. That was the biggest fear you had that day. You were terrified that Dean wouldn't want a kid. So you wrote off the nausea as jitters, but you knew." Gabriel stepped closer to Lilly.

"Family doesn't kidnap each other. Family doesn't stop a man from knowing his child. All you have done is lie to her." Dean entered the conversation.

"Oh and you two have been the poster children for functional families? You lied to him all year about your time down under. And, you spent all year playing house with Ruby." Gabriel shot at them. "And you did it because you wanted what you wanted. You two glossed it over with good intentions, but we all know what it really was." Lilly turned and looked at the two brothers then the angel.

"Down under?" Lilly asked Dean to define the code the three men were talking in.

"Lilly I will tell you when we get out of here. Please." Dean pleaded with her then looked at Mary.

"For now, but you two are going to be up all night giving me a full disclosure of all of the things I have missed. This includes the good, the bad, and the not-so-bright." Lilly looked sternly at the two men.

"All of it, but when we get out of here." Sam said looking back at Gabriel.

"You are still bent on ring side seats to the final show down." Gabriel tried to plead with her.

"Look you white winged douche, the lady wants to leave. Don't make me turn you in to a deep fried angel nugget." Dean allowed his temper to show.


	6. Strength

The angel turned on Dean. Gabriel's normally smirking mouth set in a hard line. His glittering eye hardened as he looked at the man snarling insults at him. Gabriel moved forward and Lilly stepped between then shoving Dean back near Mary. Her hands flexed and Lilly tried to pull a weapon to her. The angel shot a look at her and chided her. Lilly realized the threat the angel posed to her family. Lilly reached out and felt the hard lines of the reality she was incased in. The small fractures in the imperfect creation gave her the access she needed to the real world. Lilly reached out to her weapon pulled the

Gabriel moved towards Dean. The violent impact was almost inevitable. Lilly moved at the same time stepping back into Dean and grabbing Sam who still held Lilly. The world swirled around her as she felt her magic slam against the hard limits of the world. Lilly felt the wrath of the angel and the fear inside of Dean. The emotions fueled her own concentration and worked to hammer through magic. Lilly could feel a faint source of concern and love on the other side of the veil. Reaching out Lilly pulled them whole to the source. The reverse of her intentions allowed her to slip through the cracks forming.

The real world formed around them. Sam burst into motion running into the other room holding Mary. Dean grabbed Lilly by the wrist and yanked her out of the room. Castiel stood ready for the onslaught. Gabriel gated in pissed off. Castiel slammed his bloody hand into the rune and a bright white light flashed in the other room. Dean slipped his hand over her eyes trying to shield her. Then he pulled her back into the room.

"Cas complication. Lilly and I are going to create a diversion. You need to take Sam and the munch-kin and we will call you when we loose them. Then you three can come to us. Lilly, we have to leave." Dean started issuing marching orders.

"Dean, I can't leave Mary." Lilly panicked.

"She will be with Cas and Sammy. She will be fine." Dean told her.

"Mary I want you to listen to your Uncle Sam. Take care of her. I will come find you before bed." Lilly kissed Mary's forehead. Castiel hugged Lilly. She could feel everything he wanted to say, but didn't have time for. She tightened her arms around him.

"Training ground when you loose them." Castiel said to her. "Do you remember how to moved without being tracked?"

"I think so." Lilly nodded.

"Go. Let yourself be tracked a few times then move silently." The angel looked from her to the child.

Lilly watched as the little girl and her family disappeared. Lilly waved at the little girl, and for a second after Castiel had moved them from this space Lilly could still see her little girl waving back. Lilly turned and kissed Dean then moved them through space to the cabin where they had first hidden. Dean pulled back looking around disoriented. Lilly half smiled then moved in to help support him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held on to her. Lilly rubbed his back under the old leather coat.

"I will never get used to that." Dean murmured.

"We have to do it a few more times. Do you need a moment?" Lilly wanted to give him a chance to catch his breath.

"Do we have a minute?" He cocked an eyebrow and looked at her with a half hearted expression.

"I don't know. I don't feel anyone coming. We can stay until I do." Lilly let go of him so he could sit in the chair.

The man's strong face seemed shaken and Lilly tried not to relive moment's from the past year. Looking out into the forrest she gave him the space she so desperately needed. This was the life she had left. This was the life he had told her he didn't want for their child. This was the reality she had come back to knowing the dangers. But, this was the reality with her husband and not a carbon copy. Lilly looked out into the woods remembering the last time she had stared out. Lilly tried to remember the innocence she had felt, the desire to understand her heritage and powers she looked forward to discovering. The family she had been so eager to understand now plagued her life. A man that would call her family now hunted her bent on controlling even the world she existed in. Lilly could almost hear Castiel's voice as he asked her if she could create a tree. The long, tall structures jutted up into the sky like sleeping giants observing the interactions of the small creatures below scurrying through their lives. Lilly just listened as the animals moved through the underbrush. Their lives gleamed as they moved unaware of her presence. The sudden peace of nature reached out to her and Lilly wanted to run through the woods until the world fell away leaving only her.

As she tried to still her mind, Lilly felt the animals shuffle nervously. The sudden tension in the world around her drew her attention outward. Closing her eyes Lilly could barely sense the motion in the air. The presence seemed to spread across the air like a sentient fog searching for it's prey. The angel's presence became tangible as it began to make it's way towards the small cabin. Lilly looked at the man behind her with his head still down trying to catch his balance. Spinning around she hauled him up to his feet and pushed the world away from the two of them. The trees dissipated the strength of her fear fueling her powers. The world faded into black as she tried to find a safer location to draw the angels too, before hiding for the final time. The soft push and pull of waves came to mind. Lilly felt soft grains of sand under her now bare feet. The warm salty air whipped around their bodies as Lilly pulled the colors back into the world. Dean slumped backwards. Lilly reached out trying to grasp his figure. The man just let himself fall back on the sand dune. Dean looked out over the water and took in the fresh air. The color returned slowly to his face.

"We have time. They know where we were, but not where we went." Lilly tried to offer him comfort.

"I don't remember your imitation of Nightcrawler being this good?" Dean said as he controlled his breath.

"I figure I lucked out. He had to be blue and wear angel runes. At least my freak is all internal." Lilly just looked out at the water lapping on itself.

"That doesn't really answer the question." Dean pointed out.

"I know. I wasn't practicing if that is what you are asking." Lilly sat on the ground trying to make sense of her life. The image of a small round face with blue-green eyes came into focus. Lilly rubbed the bands on her left hand. For the first time in what felt like forever Lilly tried to pray. The words stayed stubbornly locked in her heart refusing to budge. Lilly felt her shoulders slump forwards and she drew her knees up close to her chest. Watching the waves Lilly couldn't help but slip off into her head. The image of her home in her head seemed to grey under scrutiny. The wallpaper that had been on the walls seemed to crack and peal. The grass was unkept from years of neglect and vines climbed untamed up the outside walls. Lilly just watched her home crumble under the weight of attention. Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, and Lilly leaned back into them out of instinct. The smell of worn leather and hot skin washed over her.

"I see it. I may not do the Oprah sharing thing, but I see it." Dean said softly.

"I am just trying to catch up." Lilly closed her eyes and tried to rest. Dean pulled her in closer and Lilly didn't elaborate. It was the closest she could get to the truth. Her body shivered as the brisk saltwater air swept up on the shore. The man behind her wrapped the front of his leather coat around her sharing body heat.

"How long are we staying here?" He asked her to form a plan.

"I did that kinda noisy. If they are following us it wont be long before they figure out where we landed. I want to stay here a little longer. That way when I try to do this Bond-like, we won't create enough ripples to follow. I am hoping they don't know how much Cas was playing tutor on the side." Lilly snuggled back trying not to feel so alone.

"Tell me about her." Dean asked switching subjects on her. Lilly looked out over the ocean and tried to figure out where to begin.

"Her name is Mary Ellen Winchester. She named herself more then we did. I was having dreams about her the entire pregnancy. We… I realized they started in that inn when I freaked you out." Lilly started at what she considered the beginning. "She is a terror first thing in the morning. She has cold toes all the time no matter how many pairs of socks I put her in. And she gets up early. Not like eight in the morning early… I mean like six. She eats the marsh-mellows out of her cereal and then sneaks away from the table if I don't watch her. She will find sugar no matter how well you hide it. Don't delude yourself. I think she has a sugar radar built in. She is not scared of anything, because she grew up hearing how Daddy comes from a long line of monster fighters. I have to keep reminding her she can't tell other kids this. She won't fall asleep unless you sing to her. She seems to like Metallica or Blue Oyster Cult if you slow them down as lullaby's. She doesn't like it if I do it. She wants me to sing in Gaelic. Don't know why." She took a breath so he could process the information.

"At least she has good taste in music. She didn't put a fight when we had to leave her with Sam." Dean nodded his approval.

"He was treated like a third parent almost. In that reality we were trying to get him to move in with us." Lilly tried to explain the bond that had been between them.

"He didn't live with us?" Dean asked.

"No, when he went back to college you insisted we move to be close to him. But, he wanted to stay in an apartment. I don't know why at the time, but I think it was because I couldn't sense the fight when he was around. Now I know why." Lilly began to more talk to herself then Dean. Lilly fell back into her silence not wanting to continue to dissect the past few years of her life.

"Things are different now. There are things that I know I need to tell you, but I can't right now. But, I promise you that I will." Dean squeezed her.

"We should go. I think I'm okay to do this again. Cas may have to move us around after that, but I can get us there." Lilly stood up and moved to let Dean get up.

"Something coming?" Dean watched her.

"No, but I don't think it is going to. And, I want to get back to Mary before she realizes she should be worrying." Lilly smiled at Dean trying to put on her best smile. Dean just seemed to frown, but didn't push. Wrapping his arms around her he squeezed her tight as began to will their forms towards the red clay arena where she had trained with Castiel.


	7. Acceptance

The world came into view and the soft sand of the beach became red clay under her bare feet. Lilly suddenly reconsidered having left her shoes at the cabin. Looking up she was at least thankful for the heat of the summer pounding down on her. Looking around Lilly could hear the recent screams of the crowd as they cheered on their favorite driver. Castiel stood their watching the bleachers with her. Mary looked up at the two of them knowing they were able to see things the others missed.

"Lilly what is it?" Dean asked alarmed at their behavior.

"Nothing like that. There must have been a race recently. I can hear the crowd cheering." Lilly tried to ease his concerns.

Sam chased a small figure around the winding mud trail usually reserved only for dirt bikes. The high squeals of the little girl drew their attention. Sam ran by scooped her up and tossed her into the air above his head. The action was one Lilly had seen a hundred times and it eased her soul. Dean noticed the reaction and rubbed her back. Sam walked over with the girl held upside down in one arm like a piece of luggage. The action made the girl giggle louder. Mary held out her hands to Dean opening and closing her hands as she tried to grab her father. Dean picked the little girl and righted her so that he could get a better look at her face. The little girl began to pick at his face then regard him with calm interest. Slowly she wiggled out of his arms so that she could stand in front of him. The little girl looked up at the giant who was her father. Then she slapped his leg and darted the other way. Dean watched in disbelief then began to count. Slowly he took off following the little girl.

"Once he gets used to the idea, he will be better at this. I love my dad, but he wasn't the best role model. We are going to have to teach Dean about normal. He never did it." Sam put an arm around Lilly's shoulders.

"You need to talk about it." Lilly just rested her head on his shoulder. Sam stood there letting her decompress.

"I don't know how." Lilly admitted.

"The longer you go without talking about it the harder it is going to be. And, I can tell, Dean already knows you aren't handling it well." Sam drew her attention back to the man chasing his child. The image of Dean darting around a large water trap chasing a little figure who evaded him was calming.

"It was all a lie. The life we built for her. She was going to go to preschool next year. We had a place picked out for her. We were planning a trip to the Grand Canyon. He mentioned once that will all of your driving around their were placed he wanted to see, but didn't get to. I made him promise to not teach her how to shoot a gun until she was older. He was going to buy her an old mustang and rebuild it for her. He was going to give her a car and gun for her sweet sixteen. She was going to get to grow up in the same house. She was going to have friends, slumber parties, birthday cakes, and presents under a decorated tree." Lilly began to shake slightly.

Sam just stood their listening. Lilly was barely aware of the man supporting her. Lilly could see the little girls bright red hair as it whipped around a ramp. Dean seemed to be genuinely looking for her. The image of the hunter not being able to find Mary amused her. Lilly just felt the hole where her life had been.

"Sam, I don't know what kind of life she is going to have now. I didn't want her to know fear. I didn't want her to know what it was like to have to leave people behind. I didn't want to have to explain to her that you two were out hunting. I can't even explain to you how much I worry about having to teach her about salt, hex bags, iron, ghosts and demons. They are going to hunt her. I mean could you imagine what the demons are going to be like when they find out there is another Nephilim, let alone a child they can raise. Sam, you remember what it was like. They are going to start hunting me again, and then they will find her. Sam they are going to hunt her. She is just a child. I don't know how to hide a child. Sam…." The panic rose up inside of her.

"Lilly, Dean and I can hide her. We grew up that way. We can protect her." Sam tried to comfort Lilly as she began to hyperventilate. Her chest tightened and the world began to spin. Bending over Lilly tried to breath deep.

"Sam you know how your childhood was. Would you really want that for her?" Lilly looked up at him.

"Lilly she isn't normal. You aren't normal. Dean isn't normal. I am not normal. There are things she would never be able to tell people. There will always be secrets." His words weren't comforting. They were harsh and filled with pain she didn't understand. Looking up at him, Lilly couldn't help but see the stranger he was. The world seemed to stop violently and spin the other direction knocking her off balance. Lilly could hear Dean's voice in the distance and footsteps slamming against the ground. Sam tried to catch her as she hit the ground. Strong arms in a worn leather coat pulled her off the ground and up on the bleachers near her.

"What did you say to her?" Dean asked aggressively.

"I was talking to her about Mary." Sam seemed genuinely confused.

"I… can't… protect… her." Lilly said between panicked breaths.

"Sam, if you gave her that bullshit "I am hunter" isolation speech Dad gave us…" Dean took his coat off and wrapped it around her shoulders. Dean got in her face and locked eyes with her. Lilly tried to look away from him, but her held her face between his hands. Dean inhaled slowly then exhaled slowly. Repeating the action over and over Dean acted as a breathing coach trying to retrain her lungs. Lilly slowly began to take his lead.

"Dean I didn't know she would…" Sam tried to apologize.

"Sam that world wasn't about us. It was about her. It was real for her. This place has to be hell for her. And, let me guess you told her that Mary was doomed to a life of pain and violence with no chance of a normal life. Which if I remember right is why you bailed and went to college." Dean got in Sam's face.

"Dean it is just going to be harder the longer she holds on to what Gabriel put her through." Sam tried to get through to Dean.

"When did you turn out to be the asshole. You are supposed to be the puppy-dog-eyes sensitive poetry readings one. Or, have you forgotten that?" Dean stood protectively in between Sam and Lilly.

Looking up Lilly could see Mary playing with Castiel. The little girl was showing him all the freckles on her left arm. Lilly's body seemed to move on it's own. Lilly bolted forward shrugging off the leather jacket. Lilly moved through the clay dirt obstacles heading at the forrest across the arena floor. Her long legs stretched and pumped as she flew through the motions. The muscles in her legs protested at the effort after her long break from hunting. Her lungs seemed to expand and contract further then before and the back of her throat burned as the cool air ripped through her. Lilly felt the branches catch her skin. The hard thudding and yelling followed behind her, but Lilly refused to turn around. The uneven ground slammed against the bottom of her feet as she rocked forward on the balls of her feet forcing her body to lunge forward faster. Lilly needed to feel her body in motion. The world screamed past her and Lilly wanted it to blur. But, she kept her body moving through the woods and not space.

Castiel's form appeared in front of her and shifted back into a fighter's stance a sword in his hand. Lilly willed her twin long daggers into her hands. Castiel brought his sword up and lunged forward to attack her. Lilly parried off the blow then spun down his arm bringing her knee up and into his rib cage. Castiel flipped the sword her knives slamming against it. Lilly allowed her blades to reverse in her hands. The angel slammed his free hand against her chest sending her flying. Her body slammed against the ground and she rolled up over her shoulder. Her feet hit the ground and she sprung forward trying to attack Castiel again. Lilly screamed her frustration and dropped her knives just trying to take a swing at the angel. Castiel allowed his sword to disappear and he dodges out of the way of her punch. The sounds of a concerned voice from behind her was barely a noise in her world. Lilly slammed her fists against the angel and he caught her wrists before she could land the punch. He spun her under one arm crossing her arms across her chest and held her. Lilly dropped her weight and landed on the ground. Lilly felt the pain finally break free and rush out of her. The tears welled up in her eyes and finally flowed. Lilly's body convulsed through the sobs. Castiel held her pinning into place and she raged against him.

"Why did he break this? Why did he take this from me? Why did her hurt me?" Lilly screamed as much to herself as to the world around her.

"He didn't understand what he was taking from you." Castiel said calmly.

"I was happy and he took it from me." Lilly cried. Dean bent down and pulled her towards him and away from Castiel. Lilly just pulled into him.

"I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be who I was. And Sam… he is so different. Everything is so different. And, now there is Mary. I don't know how to do all of this." Lilly sobbed into his chest.

"We will figure it out. I promise. We will protect her. And, we will try to give her a stable life. I am not sure what all is involved in that so you will have to tell me a lot of it. But, I will protect her. And, we may not have a home, but we will make this work." Dean whispered to the ball Lilly was trying to become.

Lilly crawled into him and felt Castiel move away from the two of them. Dean wrapped his arms around her tighter. Slowly her body began to settle into place. The sobs softened and Lilly allowed her body to accept the warmth from him. Dean pulled her hair back over her ear and kissed her cheek. Lilly turned her face and found his lips with hers. His need radiated out from him and Lilly just held onto him trying to find her balance.

"I will keep you safe. I won't let them hurt you again. And, I will never let them take you again." Dean held onto her.


	8. Memories

This chapter has been edited so that it is longer with more content.

* * *

The hard motel room bed was just another in a long string. Dean could smell the faint scent of vanilla and roses as he inhaled. Lingering in the moment he let the smell hang around him. Rolling over he reached out under the covers for the source. His long arms stretched across the bed only finding pillows. His heart stopped violently and restarted off rhythm. His eyes opened finding the offenders staring back at him. The yellow and brown stripped wallpaper only seemed to frame the situation. Pulling the blanket back over his head, Dean tried to sink back into the dream she had been in. The nightmare had been so real. He had watched her sobbing on the ground broken. The woman he had spent years searching for had been crushed by the people she insisted on calling family.

It was a word he hated associating with angels. Family was a word reserved for the people who watched out for you. They were the people you took care of even when they hated you for it. They were the people you pulled too you because when everything else in your life was falling apart they would stand behind you. It was a word that went beyond the simple line of birth that tied her to those angelic assholes that were so determined to destroy her. Dean tried to force the image of his redheaded amazon into focus. Her pale skin and light freckles were the first detail to come into view. Her long wavy red hair and blue eyes seemed to glow. Dean glowered at the pillow that had imitated her in his sleep. Reaching out from under the blanket Dean felt around on the floor for the almost finished bottle of whiskey. Slowly he pulled the glass savior under the blanket and began to unscrew the top. A small giggle caught his attention and Dean fastened the bottle then reached under his pillow for the barretta he hid there.

Sitting up Dean stared at the scene at the end of the bed. A tiny redhead sat with her back to the bed playing with a set of crayons and blank paper. The girl stopped then shoved the image at Sam who kept trying to quiet the girl. Sam looked up his young face seemed even younger as he smiled at Dean. Dean tried to remember a time when his younger brother had been interested in his own crayons. The reality of the nightmare flooded back to him. She had lived in a small home where his life had been unremarkable. The little girls name was Mary. Her soft rounded face reminded him of the two most important women in his life. The images of his smiling mother flashed before his eyes. The young fit woman who had never wanted him to be a hunter confided in him the fears she had for her children. He watched as the girl barely a woman cried over the fallen body of her love after she tried to get out and have a family of her own. Dean could imagine his mother the way she had been when he was young. The image in his head pulled the little girl up into her arms and sang to her quietly. His mother would have loved this little girl, this little girl who was his. Dean straightened his t-shirt and climbed out of the bed putting the bottle of whiskey back in its hiding place.

"Lilly didn't want to wake you. She went out to get a few things." Sam informed him as he pulled on a pair of jeans.

Dean sat on the bed letting his head rest in the palm of his hands. Running his fingers through his hair, Dean tried to make sense of everything he had seen. Lilly had fought with all of her might against him to protect the child. It was a ferocity that he had never seen in her. Her wild eyes had held fear and pain. The spell of the illusion had been even too much for her to resist. The tears had run down her face as the supernatural acid trip wore off. Then the angel who had taken her had tried and failed to keep her under control describing threats she would not be able to stop. Dean had watched as Lilly had stepped in front of her family to face an archangel. The fear of loosing her again had overwhelmed him. It had reached up in him and wrenched his heart. Then the world had disappeared in a familiar pattern. The sensation of moving had taken over and he was faced with a Lilly, who seemed to move through her own fog. Lilly had moved silently trying to hold the pieces of her life together as they shattered in her hands.

In a final attempt to reclaim her own mind and life, Lilly had pushed her body into motion trying to outrun her pain. The lithe redhead had crossed the motor park quickly on her long legs. The flame coloring of her hair dove into the woods and Dean took off moving behind her trying to keep up. With a hand motion Dean signaled Sam to guard the child. Dean threw his arm up to guard his face as broke the line of trees. The hunter watched Lilly as she took out her pain on Castiel. The two warriors flew into motion as Castiel gave the woman what she needed. The way she moved through the attacks keeping her body in motion had been breath taking and horrifying. Watching her with twin daggers in hand lashing out at the closest thing he had to a best friend. The angel accepted the attacks and tried to keep her from hurting herself. Dean could only watch as Castiel grappled the woman. Lilly's tortured body crumpled to the ground under the weight og the emotional pain. Small hands touched his face and Dean opened his eyes to see a bright set of blue-green eyes staring at him. They were her eyes tinted by his. Dean just watched the little girl who seemed to examine him again.

"Hungry." The little girl demanded food.

"Me too." He looked down into her blue-green eyes. "Do you have clothes?" The little girl spun and fell. A small giggle escaped her as she planted her hands on the ground so she could pick herself up. Toddling across the room Mary moved to get him clothing. The little girl disappeared suddenly behind the bed as she lost her footing again. Dean couldn't help but to see the resemblance to the woman who had given birth to her. After a few more tumbles the little girl presented him with a t-shirt and pair of pants. Inspecting the shirt Dean just considered Lilly.

"Mommy said." The little girl pointed at the lump of fabric.

"I think she is trying to suck up." Dean tried to untangle the little girl from her pajamas and failed. "Okay, I am going to hold the shirt. I want you to squirm out of it."

The little girl obliged him and shifted out of her clothing then waited for the next round. Putting her hands straight up in the air above her head, Mary seemed to be training him. Dean accepted the lesson and tried to put her into the clothing better then he had about taking her out of her nightclothes. The little girl just accepted his fumbling around and wiggled into the shirt. The little girl then moved into the bathroom area and handed him a brush. Dean stared at the little girl and considered if it was a torture device. Dean took the brush and watched as the little girl turned an presented her hair. The sudden image of having to cut the brush out was followed by Lilly holding a gun. A small but definite chill ran down his back.

"Lets skip that." Dean put the brush down on the bed.

"I got it." Sam said and took the brush from his brother. The little girl walked over to her uncle and spun plopping down on the floor. Sam ran the brush slowly through her hair and tried to tame the mass of curls. The curls frizzed and her hair seemed expand. The two men considered the situation and Mary walked over to the bathroom and pointed at the sink. The two men looked at her and then she pointed from the brush to the sink. Dean couldn't help but smile at the midget teaching him how to take care of him. Dean took the brush and moved to the sink. After a few moments of alternating between the running water and the little girls hair the tangles seemed to find their way into ringlets.

"Okay food." Dean said to the two of them.

Mary walked over to the door and waited as the other two picked up jacket and moved out. The little girl refused to move looking at the two of them like they were stupid again. Dean turned and looked at her trying to figure out the problem. Taking stock he noticed the small leather jacket hanging on the chair. Nodding his head he picked up the little girl and the coat then let the motel door shut behind them locking. Dean walked across the parking lot with Mary on his back towards the small diner. Mary leaned against his back and he could feel her weight jostle a little with each step. Dean let the weight of the little girl take hold on his life. Sam looked over and smiled at him.

"Cereal." Dean picked through his memories of everything Sam used to eat at that age.

"What?" Sam asked confused at the randomness of the statement.

"You used to like cereal… you know the one with the marsh mellows." Dean explained.

"I haven't thought about that in years." Dean could see the memories cross Sam's face. The small tables, uncomfortable chairs and disposable bowls entered his mind. The image shifted and a small red head filled the seat. Dean could feel his forehead scrunch together in frustration. It was the life he hadn't wanted for Sammy. It was the life he had tried to step away from once. It was the life he didn't want for Mary. Dean sighed.

"I was trying to figure out what to get her." Dean tried to shake the thoughts.

"You are going to be a good dad." Sam tried to reassure him.

"How do you know?" Dean hadn't expected Sam to say that.

"You helped raise me." Sam shrugged.

"Don't say that. Dad raised us." Dean defended the man who had risked life and limb to protect his boys.

"When he was around, but you were always there. This is about you, not Dad. I am trying to say that I think you are going to be better at this then you are giving yourself credit for." Sam tried to pull the subject off of their father.

Dean readjusted Mary so that she sat higher on his back and kept moving towards the diner. The blocky white building with thick horizontal red lines was one of countless many. Stepping in Dean noticed the same black and white tiled flooring that all of them seemed to have. The stark white plastic walls that had some how been stained from the grease in the air. The shiny red vinyl booths with reflective silver counter tops reminded him of hot rods and jukeboxes not the four door sedans parked out front. Dean turned and let the little girl slide off his back and onto the bench seat. Mary moved towards the window sitting up on her knees looking out into the world she didn't know. The waitress came and went after she cooed over the small girl. Lilly just smiled and showed out for the woman. Dean just watched as his world changed.

* * *

I don't actually talk in my chapters. My opinion is that I don't want to read author comments. I am horrible, I know. I want more story. No, I crave more story. Wanting to know what comes next actually does become a focus.

I just wanted to let you know I am back. I had to take some time off from being able to write, but I want to get back into the swing of it. I want to get into the habit now, because I will be doing NanoWrimo this year. I am currently working on characters and a plot. I have a genre idea, but I am still working on details.

I just wanted to let you know that the story of Dean, Lilly, and Mary will continue.


	9. Directions

The waitress's brown glittered as she stared at the little bundle of red hair crawling all over Dean. The man just sat there accepting his role as caretaker and furniture. The look on the waitress Rita's face screamed biological clock. Dean cocked one of his green eyes at the waitress who was doing her best to act out an instant family dynamic. This cute little girl, who was the obvious embodiment of his love for her mother, was a chick magnet. This little girl showed women a softer side of him that appealed to a woman's need to love and be loved. The irony was he no longer needed this function. Mary patted her hands on the flat plastic menu letting the Rita know that she wanted a glass of milk and orange juice. Rita giggled and waited. Dean ordered a bowl of cereal for Mary and the largest breakfast platter he could find. Sam nodded at the waitress that he wanted one too. Rita batted her eyelashes at the two of them and bounced away. Mary turned her focus back to the window.

"I think I am going to call her Midget." Sam looked at the little girl who was pointing out the cars going by.

"It seems right." Dean looked down at the menu then flicked it forward. Mary turned and patted Dean's face with her open palm. Then she tried to squirm out of the booth.

"Where do you think you are going?" Dean looked her in the eyes.

"Beware the midget is escaping." Sam mock yelled.

Mary turned and glowered at her uncle. Her face contorted and the little girl tried to look older. It was the look that he had seen on Lilly's face every time he tried to convince her to leave. Dean rolled the little girl onto her back and took away her ability to maneuver. Mary pouted and crossed her arms simply waiting. Dean moved her back into the booth next to the window. Rita returned with a tray of drinks then proceeded to set them down. Leaning over the table Rita managed to flash Dean as she set the cups with lids in front of Mary. Mary focused her eyes on the woman and smiled. Dean couldn't help but notice the change in demeanor. Even for a child this little girl seemed fiercely protective.

"Where Mommy?" Mary turned to Sam and demanded. Sam and Dean shot each other looks and Rita huffed off back to the bar.

"You really are your mother's daughter aren't you?" Dean looked down at the little redhead.

"Not Mommy." Mary watched the waitress closely.

Dean considered the little girl for a moment. What would he have done if he had sensed a threat to his parents? How would he have gotten in the way? Would he have been so slick? The little red head crawled in his lap as Rita the waitress tried to make another pass and failed to gain any ground. Mary just sat there in Dean's lap cheerfully nibbling on her jam and toast. Dean just accepted the invasive behavior and went with it.

"Did you know?" Sam asked looking at Mary.

"No." Dean considered the question. Lilly had been his focus for the past few years. He had spent most of his waking time trying to track down Gabriel. The overly flamboyant ass-hole had stolen her away. The woman he loved had been pregnant, given birth, and raised their child inside a world of fiction.

"I wonder if she did." Sam seemed to consider all of the events.

"I don't know. I have been doing the math… she would have been a month or two along when she was taken. And Mary's age lines up. It means that the ghost hunt we went on…" Dean ran over the numbers again.

The little girl next to them picked up pieces of peeled oranges and shoved them into her mouth. Her little hands wrapped around the cup with a lid. Dean had to grab the cup before it slipped from her hands. Mary just smiled proud of her father the hero who saved her juice. He just held it for her to drink from the straw. Mary crawled up into his lap then curled under his arm. The little girl seemed to know when her father seemed lost. Dean wrapped an arm around the little girl, and pulled her in. He wondered what he first word had been. How many times had the little girl fallen before she learned to walk? What is her favorite bedtime story? The little girl yawned and began to nod off.

"We should go back to the room. I think we wore her out." Dean put money down on the table and slid out of the booth with her.

Her little arms wrapped around his neck. The soft point of her nose nuzzled into his neck. Mary hummed in little broken melodies as she fell into sleep. The little bars of music swam in his head trying to connect with anything he recognized. The notes connected slowly to various songs then let go. Dean couldn't help but wonder if it was just a melody of her own. Then the notes locked into place, sped up, then became the song his mother had sung to him. Dean began to hear the tone of his mother's voice as she had soothed him as a child. The song of a simple and innocent request for a girl to come out to play filled him. Quickly the little girl's half aware humming matched his own. Dean caught Sam's confused expression out of the corner of his eye.

"Okay. I can accept that the only woman you would settle down for was half angle. I can accept that the dicks with wings kidnapped her. I can even accept that she was pregnant and might not have know. I can accept that you have a daughter. But, I am drawing the line at her being able to hum The Beatles on key in her sleep." Sam put his foot down in the middle on an impossible situation.

"Good genes." Dean thought about Sam's reaction. "It was the lullaby Mom sang to me."

The pain in Sam's eyes was familiar. It was the look of a child who had never known a parent. It was a man who knew of lost birthdays. Holidays stolen from him flashed behind his eyes. The image of their mother standing at the kitchen sink flashed in front of his eyes. Sam seemed to push the emotions of loss down into a darkness. Dean tried to comfort his brother patting him on the back with his free hand. Sam just nodded, then continued on to the hotel room. Sam pulled the thin plastic door key out the familiar clicks of locks letting go comforted them both. Mary's little body shifted trying to become more comfortable. The white wood bunk bed in the corner looked like the bed of a child with siblings. The comforter on the bottom bed was pushed back and bundled up into a ball. The thick velvet curtains blocked out most of the light. Dean placed the little girl in the small bed, then pulled the blanket over her.

"What are you going to do?" Sam asked Dean.

"I don't know. I don't want this for her. She deserves a pillow that is hers, and cute little bed. She deserves painted walls, and little stuffed animals." Dean sat in one of the tacky red stuffed chairs.

"You know things are going to keep looking for you." Sam said flatly.

"I know, but I don't want her to live like this." Dean leaned forward resting his head in his hands. "I don't want her to have to heat up soup at night alone in a motel room. I don't want her to have to wonder if her parents are coming back. I don't want her to ever learn that the monster under her bed killed one of us. I don't want her to learn how to clean gun before she learns how to ride a bike."

The panic bore down on him. This little girl's future stood there right out of reach. Dean watched as her body rolled towards the wall. She pushed the blanket up against the wall and buried her face in the creases. Dean watched Sam watch Mary move around on the bed. Sam sat down on the foot of the bed, his shoulders hunched forward. They each seemed to consider the room. Dean closed his eyes and tried to pull up the image of his room. It was the place he went when the reality of his life was too much to bare. The small room filled with light and toys. His wooden bed had meant so much to him. Dean could remember the rocket ship sheets and blue curtains. This girl deserved a memory like that. He wanted to give it to her. Dean wanted to give her back the life.

"You're considering leaving." Sam broke into his thoughts. It wasn't a question. Sam was simply reading his face. It was the knowledge you gained after sharing a room with someone for many years.

"I was. I don't want this for her. And, Lilly has never understood that a normal life was better. That woman was always too stubborn for her own good." Dean considered how to tell her. His head swam with possible scenarios. Many of them involved an argument, some of them involved a polite smile. None of them seemed to end with him simply getting his way. So Dean decided to work with something that never fought with him. As the little girl slept Dean pulled out his Colt to clean. The simple act of pulling it apart allowed Dean to consider the pieces of his life. Each piece built up working together to form a single machine with a focused purpose.

Dean tried to pull the pieces of his life together, clean them off, and work towards a single goal. He had Lilly back. She wasn't hurt. She wasn't dead. She was trying to regain her ground, but Lilly bounced back from worse. They were off the grid again. The angles couldn't find them. The demons weren't looking anymore then normal. But now there was Mary. There was a little girl without an older sibling to guard her. This was a little girl who couldn't be left in a motel room. She couldn't form full sentences let alone try to defend herself. So Dean tried to imagine her life on the road wondering where her parents were. The nights he had stayed awake wondering where his father was and what he was hunting. It was an awful state of loneliness not being able to experience the stupid normal rituals of families. Dean ran the cleaning cloth over the polished chrome exterior.


End file.
